So here we are. Officially asked to socially distance ourselves from others to help reduce the spread of the Virus Which Shall Not Be Named (from here on out known only as VWSNBN). I had already planned on kind of self isolating in an attempt o stay healthy for my birthday this Friday, but for some reason, the official word that came down yesterday sent me into hysterics. It might be hormones or it might just be the fact that it’s more real now, but I couldn’t stop crying. I know I’m not alone in this. In fact, most of the world is being asked to stay home right now, but it just seems so big to me personally. Maybe it’s because it’s my birthday this week and now of course all plans have been canceled, maybe because getting out of the house and going to work out classes is how I make myself feel productive, or maybe it’s because I’ve now had two trips I was really been looking forward to, canceled. Maybe it’s all of the above. But all I know is last night, I was unconsolable.
Today I’m…. still not happy. But… at least I’m not crying. I’ve been talking to Zoe a lot. She’s isolated too, and has been, in her studio apartment in Madrid. “This will be one to tell the future generations,” she jokes to me. “I was an expat in Europe during the great scare of 2020.” I am grateful for her humor and level head at this time. She’s often done her very best to keep me from tipping completely sideways in times of high anxiety and stress and this time is no different. Even from hundreds of miles away.
So in light of the insanity that has befallen OUR ENTIRE GLOBE, I’ve basically decided to limit my intake of media. I’m a firm believer that the media is making this 100 times worse than it needs/needed to be and the only way I can look after my own mental health is to limit my access to it. This, unfortunately includes staying away from Facebook too. It’s long been a toxic place where there’s too much drama for me, but I’ve stuck around for fun things like the vintage hairstyling pages I enjoy and photos of my nieces and nephews. But it’s all just too much on my anxiety now a days. I’ve turned off news notifications on my iPad, taken facebook off my phone and banned myself from even thinking of searching for updates on VWSNBN. Luckily, I have a husband who is willing to read all the news and just give my the BLUF at the beginning/end of each day. Especially easy now since he’s here too…all the time… What I’m saying is, if you snapchat me or message me asking how we are, what England is doing or anything vaguely related to VWSNBN, and I don’t answer, don’t take it personally. I’m just honestly looking out for my mental health and by doing that, I’m choosing not to engage in conversation about it. We’re doing our part to stay home and healthy and that means mentally as well as physically.
I will still try to post on instagram and write a blog or two to update you all. Though, of course I won’t have many new travel tips to share since you know, we’re not even leaving the house. But hey, there will be plenty of farm photos and a good deep dive into the psyche of a girl with GAD and PTSD trying to survive social distancing.
For now though, I’m doing just fine. Tim’s making me nachos for lunch and I have Netflix. Until tomorrow. ❤ Sam